National humiliation in the national interest?! | Forum

Jesus I despise Brexit.

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nigelswift Mar 9, 2019 16:04:44

Replying to nigelswift

James Forsyth in The Sun:

"Michel Barnier, the EU’s chief negotiator, is telling the UK that if it doesn’t like the backstop, it can have a Northern Ireland-only version of it — which the UK has already rejected. One minister fully briefed on the negotiations tells me: “We’re at ‘what the hell do we do?’ time. But without a change to the backstop, Theresa May’s deal is going down to another heavy defeat on Tuesday."

That won’t be the end of the matter, though. For the very next day Parliament will vote against leaving on March 29 with No Deal. Parliament will then almost certainly vote to request an extension to Article 50, the two-year process for leaving the EU. At this moment, the UK would be in the EU’s hands. As one weary No10 source admits: “They’d be in a position of being able to dictate terms.”

It would be up to the EU to decide whether to grant an extension, how long it would be for and what conditions would be attached to it. How humiliating: This country’s future would be being determined in Brussels, not Westminster."

That'll do nicely.

grufty jim Mar 10, 2019 09:40:45

Replying to nigelswift

Talk in the Irish broadsheets this morning that the EU have completely run out of patience with the UK government.

The sequence of events as seen from Dublin...

EU:
"in order to remain compatible with the Belfast Agreement, Northern Ireland must temporarily remain part of the Custom Union, pending an alternate solution that will keep the border open. We'll even call it a "backstop" so cricket-loving English people will be familiar with the term.

UK (under the watchful eye of the DUP who are keeping the UK government in power by this point):
"Absolutely not! We will have no truck with any solution that treats Northern Ireland any differently to the rest of the UK.

EU:
"But... but... you already HAVE all sorts of differentiation between the two; from social and legal differences to actual checks on agricultural produce between the two..."

UK:
"la la la la la la!"

Dublin:
"Hey EU, don't bother pressing that point... the DUP are involved here and they don't make any sense and never have; we just have to pretend those differences don't exist otherwise everyone puts their fingers in their ears and goes "la la la la la!" really loudly. It's psychotic, but it's UK politics."

UK:
"la la la la la la!"

EU (shouting to be heard):
"OK, OK, Britain, so what do you propose?"

UK:
"la la la... huh?"

EU:
"So what do you propose?"

UK:
"A UK-wide backstop instead... the entire UK gets covered by the backstop as a kind of informal Custom Union until we have a comprehensive trade deal in place that will keep the British border in Ireland open..."

EU:
"Jeez, that really doesn't sit well with us. You'll be getting all the benefits of the free market without any of the fiscal responsibility... it really goes against our rules (which you helped write, remember?)"

UK (suddenly unexpectedly belligerent):
"Look you foreign fucks! Either it's a UK-wide backstop, or we start up with the la la la's... and we'll starve the paddies again while we're at it!"

EU:
"Fine... if that's what it takes to get you to start acting like decent neighbours to the Irish for the first time in 1600 years... then we'll bend the rules... a UK-wide backstop it is..."

UK:
"la la la la la!"

EU:
"But? now what?"

UK:
"A UK-wide backstop?! Are you fucking kidding me? We'll never succumb to that kind of EU-meddling and latter-day Fourth Reich bullshit! Never surrender! Spitfires and The Queen and Bulldogs and fuck you for trying to trap us in a UK-wide backstop!! la la la la la!"

EU:
"What the ACTUAL fuck just happened there?"

Dublin:
"Now you see what we've been dealing with...."