1. Our sense of fair play and justice (even though it does go horribly wrong sometimes)

** As long as it's in our favour or we are neutral

2. Our ability to laugh at ourselves

** If we didn't everybody else would (and does)

3. Our ability to grasp the concept of irony

** Again, that's ironic, because we really need to

4. The elevation of eccentricity as a great virtue

** Can't argue with that one

5. Marvellous unsung regional cheeses (far better than the French)

** maybe. All subjective that one.

6. Our rich, deep and incredibly versatile language, which constantly borrows from other languages, welcoming new words and concepts, enriching itself over the centuries into the most expressive language in the world.

** Most of these have been brought home after we have attcked, massacred, conquered and f*cked up another country.

7. Our sentimentality towards small furry creatures

** In the open, but just ask the RSPCA if we're a nation of animal lovers

8. BBC2 and Channel 4

** yup

9. Earl Grey tea, warm hoppy beer and fine baked and steamed puddings

** Would these be the bland steamed puds that everyone ridicules us for?

10. Encouragement and support for the underdog

** As above, UNLESS the underdog is fighting us

11. Island nationhood (harder to invade)

** GB has been invaded and great chunks of it conquered 3 times in 2000. About the same as Spain.

12. Not having a written constitution. I like concept of the law of precedent. Much more flexible -like our language! Look at America - the right to bear arms was pretty important in the 18th century on that continent. It no longer is, but because its in the constitution its as though its written in stone. Its bollocks.

** Yes and No

13. Private Eye - and the right of publishers to print it

** And the right of people to sue for Slander and win because they know the Judge!

14. Pork sausages

** What!!!???

15. Rabies-free

** Are you sure? Lots of illegal stuff has come through that tunnel thing.

or

** You've never met my brother then?