Fortunately for me I don't possess a pair of bollocks so am taking a chance to tell you about a book I just bought about Orkney - called The Outrun by Amy Liptrot.
It's a memoir written by a young woman who had been brought up on Orkney - the previous decade in London had been spent struggling with addiction so she goes back home to find herself again in the wildness of Orkney.
Will Self writes: "A lyrical brave memoir. It's Liptrot's aptitude for marrying her inner space with wild outer spaces that make her such a compelling writer ... "
I'm enjoying it a lot.