>...the blinding white light of revalation would come as a real boost to me right now...<

There's a story of a Zen monk who, one day while sweeping his temple garden, sent a little stone ;-) flying against a bamboo post. The clunk of the little stone ;-) striking the bamboo post brought the monk to a state of <i>satori</i> (enlightenment). I think I came close to that state today while sweeping the maple leaves from the lawn. I accidentally stood on a snail that went clunsh - but the demise of the snail, I'm afraid, has probably slowed down any further advancement along by own particular path to enlightenment :-(