An alledged true tale from the World Cup ... in a galaxy far, far away etc ...

Convinced they might have nicked a game which would have put them just 90 minutes away from - gulp! - the World Cup Final, the players sat slumped, completely deflated, some with their heads in their hands, others hooded in towels, the tomb-like silence broken only by the sound of the odd boot thudding against a wall, as a weary foot shook it off.

Suddenly, the door to the dressing room burst open and a man in an elegant suit entered in good cheer and loud voice. Arms aloft he launched into a stirring speech about the warrior sons of Erin, the brave performance of the team, the honour they had brought to their country, and much more in that vein. This was Charles J Haughey in full oratorical flight.

After he'd gone on like this for a couple of minutes, Quinn was nudged in the ribs by Tony Cascarino, who rather loudly inquired: "Oo the fack is 'e, then?" Quinn growled back a whispered, "For God's sake Cas, that's the Taoiseach." Whereupon, Andy Townsend turned to Cascarino and asked: "Oo is it, Cas?" "I dunno," Cascarino replied, "but Quinny says he owns a tea shop."

http://archives.tcm.ie/irishexaminer/2004/12/04/story823189501.asp