My advice to you is to go out and indulge in a little retail therapy - lighten up a bit, enjoy the soft autumn we're having, buy a new hat for when things turn colder. When you've done that you might check on your medication, make sure it's the right one, or up the dosage a bit (not too much of course) And when you've got all that sorted, why not think carefully before posting - who knows, with a little practice you might start making sense in a consistent sort of way and, with even a little more practice, you might even start making friends.
Good luck - you're going to need it.
PS Philip Larkin once wrote of Charles Causley -
Ah, CHARLES, be reassured! For you
Make lasting friends with all you do,
And all you write; your truth and sense
We count on as a sure defence
Against the trendy and the mad
The feeble and the downright bad.
PPS You may of course reply to this post - don't expect a reply.
dixi