Mmmm I've always wondered about recycling. I mean I do it, for no better reason than the village recycling facility is almost in my back garden (well in the car park behind my back garden to be precise) but I question how ecologically sound it is to have these great big bloody trucks pull up every other day to empty the containers and cart the contents off to God knows where.

Plus there's all this business of 'you can recycle THIS plastic but we don't want any of THAT plastic' and 'we'll take catalogues but not telephone directories'. The thing is if you DON'T recycle you get bollocked by the local authority for leaving too much rubbish out for the bin men to collect (and don't even get me started on those twats in Saltdean who were supposed to empty our recycling boxes but wouldn't if they weren't left in EXACTLY the right spot of the pavement, refused to take cardboard because it was 'too heavy' AND it was about two years before they'd take glass).

People do recycle, by and large, with good intentions (except for those twat-wits that drive up in their Landrovers and leave their engines running while they're dick-arsing around in the recycling bins). It's not their fault if the waste disposal contractors don't dispose of the stuff properly or it ends up on the other side of the world causing even more pollution problems.

Obviously what REALLY needs to be done is for manufacturers to use less bloody packaging in the first place. WHY are the supermarkets still giving out those stupid plastic carriers that rip when you put more than one can of dog food in them? WHY are we still able to buy apples in a polystyrene tray wrapped in clingfilm? WHY do they make those bloody revolting noodle snacks in plastic pots with two layers of plastic lids and a plastic fork wrapped in plastic? Why do supermarkets have an obsession with shrink wrapping EVERYTHING? Why do things like nappies and bog rolls and sanitary towels come in PLASTIC bags rather than paper bags?

Plastic isn't big and it isn't clever, and it's about time we all got over the whole excitement of being able to turn crude oil into packaging. Bring back the granny-wheelie-shopping-basket-thingymajigs I say!