"If someone tried to play even Sunday league football and were incapable they would be sussed pretty quickly"
Ah the Emile Heskey mechanism!

“I’ve found a processionary route over there , and there is a burial right under my feet “ .Who is to say that they are wrong"

I guess the two areas of dowsing that flourish most do so where very particular conditions exist: water dowsers usually find water because there's water everywhere and archaeological dowsers find new archaeology on scheduled sites as you go to prison if you check.

Dowsers finding lost dogs or winning lots of money at Find the Lady.... not so much.