Love your blog...
I can clear this up, as I am from YoulGRAVE and no-one from there ever uses the frankly superfluous 'e'... so it should be pronounced '...grave' too.
Moth, I loved what you said about all the finest places in the finest county on god's earth! And I'm glad you like Youlgrave (I left 13 years ago myself...) so much. It is fine indeed.
J/R xx