I thought the 'shadow' was a 'soul patch'.

Anyway, recently, a dyke friend of mine was coming back from the corner shop one morning, clutching her milk and copy of the Guardian. She happened across one of the local old drunks who instantly twinkled and propositioned her. Apart from the general dishevellment, his Santa Claus-like beard was matted, stained with nicotine and horror of horrors, harbouring ancient Rice Krispies. For some reason he was under the impression that as a lesbian, she would jump at the opportunity of getting her legover with such an Adonis . . . .

What a bloody neighbourhood I reside in . . .

t'chops xx