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I went into my local (tiny) pub the other week and this prat was wittering on into his mobile VERY LOUDLY. Using my best stentorian voice I asked him to "SPEAK UP" as the people in the other bar couldn't hear him! He went red, rushed out, and I got a round of applause! Mutter, mutter etc. ;)

I especially liked Bob Geldof (et al)'s coffee rantings. It's true. In France you get a coffee (small black espresso type thing), a large coffee (same but exactly twice as big), a cafe-creme (small white coffee) and a large cafe-creme (same but exactly twice as big) and the odd cappucino. That's all the choice i want. I don't need a latte-mocha-choca-oochie-coochi-creole-lady-marmalade (to go). And I like me cups made of some kind of pottery too!