Jane

Habitat: Commonly sighted in fields round Oxfordshire and Wiltshire.

Distribution: Widespread; occasional migrations to overwinter in Africa or other hot climes.

Characteristics: A tall, blonde, opinionated bird with feisty temper when provoked. Prone to spells of gloom during winter months. Usually sporting dark plumage, except for golden head, can often spotted with sketchbook and brushes near megalithic sites.

Feeding habits: Easily tempted with cheese (any variety) or a nice cup of tea. Unfeasibly fond of curry.

Behaviour: Unpredictable, approach cautiously. Responds very favourably to flattery.

Abhors: slugs, invisible sky gods, Tories, the Daily Mail, bigots, eggs, the cold, walking and timewasting.

Adores: a man called Moth, painting, live music, furry creatures, tea administered frequently, hot places, cheese, writing crap poetry, David Attenborough, Ernest Shackleton, Vincent van Gogh and the English language.

Want more?: see her website.

Big old rocks I find appealling

Their secrets they are not revealing

Some are chambers, some are tombs

Hidden in valleys and in combes

Some are said to act like clocks

With shadows cast out from their rocks

I like the way they just survive

When I visit, I feel alive

So I chase my rocks around the maps

Round England, Ireland and France, perhaps

But there ain't nothin' that I liked so much

As to see the Hunebedden, dem is Dutch.