"but working with the person to identify ways to fill or supress the urge without doing the harm does tend to work."

Ah, but here we come to an uncomfortable suspicion (on my part alone as I'm grumpy). I reckon , for the likes of me to see, is an essential part of the satisfaction. If that was not the case then a nice, allocated "offering spot" fifty yards from the monument and invisible to all but them and Her would be enthusiastically embraced.

;)